Weird Chips, Take Two

So I was at the store browsing the various snack chips available, and I saw two new flavors of Takis. They’re among my favorite chip brands, so I basically had to try them[citation needed], especially because these ones look funny.

Note that any number ratings I give out are based purely on vibes, and shouldn’t be interpreted as if they’re on a thoughtfully calibrated absolute scale. Addtionally, not all of these were tried in the same sitting, so it’s possible my mood’s impact on my impression of these chips varied throughout.

Cobra Takis

Well that’s a smell. Upon opening the bag, I get a whiff of… lime? Lime and some mildly spicy things. It certainly triggered my mouth to start salivating.

These ones aren’t very spicy, but yeah, I think my guess was right. This tastes like it has lime seasoning. Chili lime seasoning? I think so.

Anyway, it tastes good, and isn’t very spicy. Would definitely eat again.

6/10

(Sorry, I don’t have these on hand, and I forgot to take a picture when I did. I’ll try to fix this later.)

Kaboom! Takis (Limited Edition)

Okay, this is weird. The smell definitely activated my saliva glands immediately when I opened the bag, but these… their taste reminds me of the Ketchup Doritos from last time?

I wanna say, they taste like those, except the taste isn’t powerful enough to throw me off from eating more than a few, and they’re a bit spicy.

4/10

I stand corrected, I won’t be finishing this small bowl I poured out for trying them.

3/10

Barbecue Doritos

This one’s the odd one of this bunch, since I’ve had it before- I think it was new around the time I did the first post in this series, but I didn’t see it until after I published that one.

Anyway, compared against the three in that post, this one is great.

At least, if you’re me and you have an incurable sweet tooth, that is.

Munching on one now, it’s very sweet for a chip, and a bit tangy. But, like, without the strange powerful flavor you see in the ketchup chips? I’m not sure what exactly the difference is, but these aren’t overwhelming, just good. You know how I said they nailed the mustard taste for the mustard Doritos? Well, this one feels like they got the spirit of Sweet Baby Ray’s barbecue sauce, and that’s a compliment this time. I love it!

8/10, I ate entirely too many of these yesterday.

(I name Sweet Baby Ray’s just because that’s my favorite barbecue sauce, so it’s my comparison point.)

Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch Doritos

First thing, these aren’t spicy. The name made me think they’d be spicy.

Okay, I feel like there’s a little something here that could be construed as “spicy”, but it’s way less spicy than Blue Heat Takis, and I eat those by the bucket full. (That’s to say, those aren’t very spicy either.)

Anyway, these taste good! I think they might be a little mellower than the normal Cool Ranch Doritos, and, with that hint of spicy, it’s a really nice flavor.

(I remember the normal Cool Ranch Doritos being a little more powerful on the parts of this flavor profile they share, the ranch-y parts. Those are good too, of course.)

7.5/10, I could munch on these as much as I did the barbecue ones, but not all the time.

…

Let me just finish this bowl I poured out, then I’ll get to the next flavor.

Jumpin’ Jack Cheese Doritos

Oh, these are good. I just had my first one, and I’m having flashbacks to the Cheddar Cheese Doritos, which were pretty good, but had the same problem as the Ketchup and Mustard chips: being too powerful.

These? These are mellower than those were, making them better than those were. I like ’em!

I’m not sure what cheese flavoring this is, though I get the sense that I’ve definitely had it before in some other food. Maybe White Cheddar Cheez-Its? It could just be the color of the chips making me think this, but I am reminded of those.

7.5/10, I feel like these are in the same area as the Blazin’ Buffalo & Ranch Doritos, where I could definitely eat a lot of them over a day, but not as frequently as the BBQ Doritos, which I feel like would never be poorly received by me.

Bonus Story - Milk Soda

I’ve actually been sitting on this one for a while, but I saw this at the local Cermak and had to try it:

Milky Be Happy

That name. It had me. I couldn’t resist its allure. I mean, who doesn’t want to be milky and happy?

I couldn’t not try this. So I bought it, and tried it later that night. But let me tell you what I was expecting it to be first, so you can see how jarring this one was.

When I saw this, I thought maybe it’d be a sort of yogurt drink, like a canned Kefir or something. The note about “postbiotics” had me wondering if they were confused (the “Milky Be Happy” contributed to this), like maybe they meant “probiotics”, which are something I’ve seen mentioned on yogurt drinks before.

(Apparently postbiotics are a thing. I didn’t know that at the time.)

I threw around jokes that maybe it was carbonated yogurt, because that’d be weird and unexpected, right? After hours of doing other stuff, and joking about what concoction this thing might be, I finally opened the can and tried it.

First sip.

Oh dear.

This is carbonated. And it’s definitely not yogurt. What am I drinking?

Second sip.

Well it definitely tastes like melon. The can didn’t lie.

And then, I poured it out into a cup to see what it was I was drinking, and wow it was really green. A pleasant light-green, this stuff is actually a nice color, which is cool because I’m used to sodas using the color of their containers to mask that, when you pour them out, they look like piss and shit garbage.

And I kept drinking it, because it wasn’t that bad. I wasn’t sure at first, but I think this one grew on me.

7/10, would buy again.

(There’s more to go into on this, like how they used a sticker to replace the EU looking Nutrition Facts label with a US one, and how this is how I learned that European nutrition labels list kilo Joules in addition to calories, and how they use a better notation for the fact that the calories we use on nutrition labels are actually kilo calories, “kcal”, but I digress. That’s stuff for another time.)